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I woke up this morning, just like you did, to news that retired poker player Fedor Holz had reached the final table of the Aussie Millions Main Event. I yawned, not just because it was the morning, and then sent a simple text. It read, “Fedor Holz is a cheat code.”
You know, the ones that make difficult and frustrating video games a piece of cake. The ones that turn unbeatable levels into walks in the park. The ones that give you immunity against zombies, monsters and war-time opposition. The ones that let you reach two of the biggest Aussie Millions final tables in the same week. You know, those kind of cheat codes.
Growing up, my hometown was obsessed with Pokemon. Everyone collected the cards but those that were really serious played on Game Boy. Quickly, instead of playing football and basketball during recess, we were battling and trading Pokemon. It was a level playing field, until one of my friends came to me with an admission. His older brother had showed him a cheat code in the game that could give you 99 Rare Candies. What are Rare Candies you may ask? They instantly level up your Pokemon, meaning that evolution and attribute boosts that would have normally taken weeks or months, could happen overnight. Overnight, we became the deadliest combination of Pokemon masters Eisenhower Elementary School had ever seen. Fedor Holz is the 99 Rare Candy cheat code.
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 was the best video game I ever played. It was also the most frustrating, so frustrating that trips to the local GameStop to replace broken PlayStation controllers were more or less a weekly ordeal. After multiple broken controls, failed tricks and hours of futility trying to collect “S-K-A-T-E” within each level, enough was enough. I went online and there they were, everything I needed to beat the game. X, Triangle, Circle, Circle, Up, Left, Triangle, Square. Infinite Special was unlocked. X, Square, Left, Up, Down, Up, Square, Triangle. Moon Physics was unlocked. Right, Up, Left, Square, Right, Up, Square, Triangle. Perfect Balance was unlocked. Fedor Holz is the Infinite Special, Moon Physics and Perfect Balance cheat codes.
Years later, I’m still trying to figure out if there was a point to Grand Theft Auto. I’m sure there were campaigns and a plot that you were supposed to follow but in the one version of the game that I owned, I basically just ran around, stole cars, blew stuff up and a handful of other things that would result my character lying dead in the San Andres streets. They never killed me though. Right, X, Right, Left, Right, R1, Right, Left, X, Triangle and voila, Invincibility. The National Guard could be called in, I was that reckless, fire a rocket at my chainsaw wielding character and he’d run right through the explosion, chainsaw and all. Fedor Holz is the Invincibility cheat code.
Tomorrow, Fedor Holz will take 99 Rare Candies, Infinite Special, Moon Physics, Perfect Balance and Invincibility to the Aussie Millions Main Event final table and the $100,000 Aussie Millions Challenge final table. While his opponents try to keep him from leveling up, Fedor Holz will continue to be a cheat code.
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