Morning Perk: Cash Me Ousside for Groundhog Day

Friday morning. It’s been a long week but you are almost there. Just a few more calls, one more meeting and then the weekend and freedom await. We know you need a little extra boost to get you through the final day of the work week and luckily, Poker Central and Death Wish Coffee have you covered. The world’s strongest coffee gives you a “Morning Perk,” bringing you the best of the internet from the past week.

Yesterday was Groundhog Day and as fate would have it, we are apparently going to get six more weeks of winter. Six weeks, that’s about the life expectancy of viral content these days but then again, do we really want some of those to go away? Dr. Phil would say yes, we would say now and without further ado, a Groundhog Day edition of “Morning Perk”.

Obviously, this ties into Bill Murray’s 1993 hit movie much more so than the real tradition of Groundhog Day, we feel like the film’s premise is a much funnier angle to explore than whether the groundhog correctly predicts the winter, or not.

YouTubers, if that’s not a word we are making it one right now, Chris and Jack released a tremendous sketch. It’s great. They’re obviously smart guys, people know it. People talk about it. It’s tremendous. These guys are going to be big, you heard it hear first, from me. I’ll subscribe, so should you. 

Ladies and gentlemen, Punxsutawney Phil Kessel… pic.twitter.com/SZNTsxRKxL

— Benstonium (@Benstonium) February 2, 2017

Toronto’s most questioned athlete was the one who hated answering questions the most. Phil Kessel went down in Toronto sports history as its most misunderstood player, but his contributions to the team did not go unnoticed. Kessel was ultimately traded to the Pittsburgh Penguins, and less than a year later Obama trolled him when the team visited the White House. Kessel was the easy target for a Groundhog Day joke yesterday – the famous Groundhog being called Phil and all – but the joke’s on all of Toronto if he gets to hoist another Stanley Cup again this season. Phil saw his own shadow, so we’re firing on the Penguins at 8/1.

Since passing along the Presidential reigns, it’s been pretty easy to cash Obama ousside these days. The only thing easier stumbling across whatever this is anywhere and everywhere on the internet. We don’t know what this is, so just watch and try to figure it out for yourself.

Based on the groundhog’s prediction of a longer winter, we’re offering “Cash Me Ousside Girl” this free advice: Stay indoors and off the internet until then.

One more thing, enjoy your weekend and have fun at your Super Bowl party on Sunday. We’re hoping that this hot chick will play “America the Great” on this pseudo-national holiday and that the Falcons can wash away what happened back in 1999.