Morning Perk: Data, Barnie, Mascots and Tests

Friday morning. It’s been a long week but you are almost there. Just a few more calls, one more meeting and then the weekend and freedom awaits. We know you need a little extra boost to get you through the final day of the workweek and luckily, Poker Central and Death Wish Coffee have you covered. The world’s strongest coffee gives you a “Morning Perk,” bringing you the best of the internet from the past week.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

The internet wasn’t around when Ferris Bueller gave everyone the perfect high school yearbook quote but his words are just as powerful today as they were in the late 80’s. The internet, more often than not, moves faster than life itself and while we’re sure we missed some of it, these were our favorites from the past week.

What would you call Russell Westbrook’s outfit? pic.twitter.com/siU2e96ZEv

— Brody Logan (@BrodyLogan) April 19, 2017

Russell Westbrook is fashion. Fashion is art. Thus, Russell Westbrook is art. Before his 50-point triple-double in Game 2 of the Oklahoma City Thunder’s series against the Houston Rockets, Westbrook looked one-third swag, one-third Patches O’Houlihan and one-third “I can’t carry my team any further, I’m ready for the offseason.” After his 50-point triple-double, the first ever in the NBA Playoffs, Russell was 100% real with reporters.

Grizzlies coach David Fizdale goes off on the refs after the Game 2 loss: ‘Take that for data!’ pic.twitter.com/kBaGytjyyW

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) April 18, 2017

While every NBA fan is hoping for a Golden State Warriors vs. San Antonio Spurs Western Conference Finals clash, myself included, don’t tell that to Memphis Grizzlies coach David Fizdale. He doesn’t care about what you want and after their Game 2 loss this week, Fizdale dropped some stats from the first two games of the series. His post-game rant mainly centered around free throw attempts and concluded with, “Take that for data!” which puts Fizdale in distinguished company with other legendary ranters.

Milwaukee is playing the Barney theme music during the Raptors’ player introductions ?? pic.twitter.com/dMTz1Npj5p

— Eric Fawcett (@Efawcett7) April 21, 2017

I know it gets cold in Milwaukee but I didn’t know it could get this cold. After splitting the first two games of the series in Toronto, the Raptors came across the border and prepared for Game 3 of their series with the Milwaukee Bucks. When it was time to introduce the Raptors, the Bucks announcers turned their intimidating mascot into a goofy, creepy, lovable dinosaur. This clearly got in the Barnies player’s heads, as the Bucks blew them out to take a 2-1 series lead.

Saving children from foul balls – just another reason to follow @AlbertGator on Twitter! #GoGators pic.twitter.com/44j6FgkpXa

— Florida Gators (@FloridaGators) April 19, 2017

We’ve run a few different bits throughout our “Morning Perk” pieces, from Migos, to Kendrick Lamar and LaVar Ball. I’m not sure if we’ll be able to mention Albert Gator, the University of Florida mascot, more than once but trust me, if we can, we will. Albert was sitting with the people during a U of F baseball game earlier this week and used his giant mascot head to protect a young fan from a foul ball. Albert was immediately knocked unconscious but then, miraculously, the seven-year-old performed life-saving CPR. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Leonard Fournette & Dalvin Cook got 11’s on their Wonderlic, per @BobMcGinn. Here’s an occupational comparison chart pic.twitter.com/38jf3AX7RE

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) April 20, 2017

Some weeks, there are multiple topics throughout each “Morning Perk” and some other weeks, we get rolling and we just can’t stop. This week, clearly, is all about sports and with the NFL Draft quickly approaching, that means that we finally get to debate the relevancy of the Wodnerlic! The Wonderlic is an intelligence test used to assess the aptitude of prospective employees and thanks to the always informational Darren Rovell, we know that projected first-rounders Leonard Fournette and Dalvin Cook scored 11’s on their tests during the combine. This likely outdated occupational chart aside, Fournette and Cook will get drafted, they will get drafted high and if they continue to perform how they did in college, will be workhorse running backs in the NFL for years to come despite what some stupid test says. 

Gronk casually walking in on a White House briefing. pic.twitter.com/I3jDzsojJr

— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) April 19, 2017

“Morning Perk” Bonus Fav: We need more Gronk.

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