Morning Perk: Thrones, Flips, Dumb Thoughts and Non-Threats

Friday morning. It’s been a long week but you are almost there. Just a few more calls, one more meeting and then the weekend and freedom awaits. We know you need a little extra boost to get you through the final day of the workweek and luckily, Poker Central and Death Wish Coffee have you covered. The world’s strongest coffee gives you a “Morning Perk,” bringing you the best of the internet from the past week.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

The internet wasn’t around when Ferris Bueller gave everyone the perfect high school yearbook quote but his words are just as powerful today as there were in the late 80’s. The internet, more often than not, moves faster than life itself and while we’re sure we missed some of it, these were our favorites from the past week.

Kendrick Lamar may not have the mainstream draw that Drake does or the “greatest artist of our generation” billing that I gave Kanye West last month but King Kendrick’s newest drop has everyone talking. The music video for “HUMBLE.”, Lamar’s newest single, was released yesterday and shows the rapper dressed as the Pope, sitting down for his last supper, hitting golf balls off a broken-down car and passing the Grey Poupon. From good kid, m.A.A.d city, to To Pimp a Butterfly, to untitled unmastered., Kendrick continues to drop hits and “HUMBLE.” is just that.

7.16.17 #GoTS7 pic.twitter.com/2Juyc5K7n2

— Game Of Thrones (@GameOfThrones) March 30, 2017

From music video to a teaser trailer that has my mind spinning. Admittedly, I am a little late to the Game of Thrones movement and by a little late, I mean I just started watching Season 1 earlier this week and am three episodes in. I probably shouldn’t have watched the Season 7 trailer but I couldn’t help myself. Now, I have so many questions and my sole purpose in life is to have them answered and to be caught up to speed by the time the new season starts this summer.

Soooo stoked to land world first forward quad cork 1800 !!! #9royals @nineknights pic.twitter.com/SBFoGiGggF

— Andri ragettli (@Andriragettli) March 28, 2017

Growing up, Tony Hawk’s 900 was the gold standard of action sports tricks. Not that I’ve really kept up with the X-Games since but how in the world are people doing double what Tony Hawk did!? 18-year-old Swiss skier Andri Ragettli landed a 1800, which equates to five flips, in a competition in Italy. The best part about this video, other than the overall absurdity of it, is that when the camera slows down, you think the fourth flip is the last one he has time to make before landing. Nope, one more and as someone who probably couldn’t even land a 180, is six flips even possible?

No I am not high. I am simply wondering if there was once every color of every animal but the ones that clashed with nature were eaten.

— John Mayer (@JohnMayer) March 29, 2017

Joining the likes of Kyrie Irving, Arian Foster, Michael Jordan and LaVar Ball at the “Famous People Say Stupid Stuff” party, John Mayer! The seven-time Grammy Award winner posed this ridiculous question on Twitter earlier this week which might be even worse than “The ceiling is the roof.” Starting a sentence with “No, I am not high.” is kind of like starting it with “No offense, but…” Whatever you say after that is going to be offense and odds are Mayer was probably a little high.

QUIZ: Which one of these eight different NBA personality types are you? https://t.co/Bz6wE1RyBz

— The Ringer (@ringer) March 31, 2017

There are plenty of personalities in professional sports, some good and some bad. Thanks to the Ringer’s Shea Serrano, everyone can now know what kind of NBA player they are. *Takes quiz* “Congratulations, your NBA player archetype is: Highly Regarded Non-threat. You’re Old Dirk Nowitzki.” What the ****?

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