Shark Tank, ARIA High Roller Version

For the last few years, Shark Tank has been one of television’s most popular shows. On the show, entrepreneurs bring their idea into the tank and pitch the sharks, hoping to gain an investment for partial stakes in their company or idea. Since they aren’t billionaires, viewers can’t get in on the action but on Kickstarter, they can.

The crowdfunding site has been live since 2009 and the concept takes the sharks out of the tank, replacing them with, and we say this with all due respect, minnows. Anyone around the world can contribute to different campaigns and offered rewards, unique experiences and products for their pledges.

Those two concepts, along with this weekend’s 2017 ARIA High Roller series debut, got us thinking. Combining Shark Tank, Kickstarter and high stakes poker, what could a $25,000 ARIA High Roller buy-in get us as investors?

LenzO: The Future of Underwater iPhone Imaging – $11,000

The new iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus are both somewhat waterproof but we wouldn’t advise submerging them in your pool or the ocean and expecting to have them actually working when you come up for air. Problem solved with ValTech, Inc.’s newest iPhone underwater housing. With LenzO, there is no waiting and editing needed to upload pictures or videos to social media, much like there is with GoPros or other underwater capable housings. Plus, if you pledge $5,500, you get a 3-day Dive Trip in the Bahamas for you and a friend. I’ll take two of those and am now accepting friend applications.

Solowheel Iota: A Mini Personal E-Vehicle – $3,690

From the creators of Hovertrax, the original hoverboard, comes Solowheel Iota. The small, self-balancing personal vehicle is perfect for short commutes, hanging, or hovering, around town or just having fun. The Solowheel Iota is also different from all other hoverboards, as you don’t need to worry about watching both sides of your board while riding, as the Iota has one wheel that makes it both useful and practical. A simple pledge of $3,690 gets you ten Solowheel Iota’s, meaning no one will ever have to walk in the Poker Central offices ever again. You’re welcome.

Iron and Resin by Ridgemont Outback Riding Shoes – $1,095

I have never and likely will never ride a motorcycle but these riding shoes from Ridgemont Outback are easily the most stylish piece of apparel currently on Kickstarter. Not that there was much competition, who in the world would actually buy this, but nevertheless, we are big fans. So much so that we’re putting in three pledges of $365, good for six pairs of shoes, six t-shirts and six leather key chains. My four male co-workers will have to fight it out for either the brown or black style because I, as the lead investor, am taking both.

Exeric Evergraph Automatic – $829

My day-to-day watch of choice is my Apple Watch, which is more conversation starter than functional accessory, but I’ve been in the market for a fancier alternative for the better part of the last year. Exeric has run multiple Kickstarter campaigns over the last few years and for a modest pledge of $829, three Evergraph Automatics can be yours. I’ll take the Silver/Leather one, my two editorial comrades can have their choice of style.

Snow Creations –  $8,360

Why am I spending close to a third of our High Roller Shark Tank bankroll on a plastic snowman building thing? Because I want complete control over this company and I want to kill this idea before anyone ruins their children’s childhood with this monstrosity of a product. Building a snowman, the old fashioned way, teaches values that last a lifetime. Hard work, discipline, to lift with your knees not your back and much, much more. I didn’t have any help building a snowman when I was a kid and either should anyone else.

Total Investments – $24,974

What are we doing with the leftover $26? Did someone say Chick-fil-A?