Thank Yous and No Thank Yous, Brock Osweiler

This past weekend, ‘Uncle Ron’ arrived in Las Vegas with nothing but a child-like sense of wonder and $10,000. His plan, bet all four NFL Divisional Round playoff games, doubling his bet each time. By Sunday night, he had the chance to have close to $80,000 riding on his hometown Kansas Chiefs. Unfortunately, after the Atlanta Falcors covered, Brock Osweiler got in the way. Before ‘Uncle Ron’ left for the airport, he wrote an open letter to the Houston Texicans quarterback…

Dear Brock Osweiler,

Thank yous for being on the Colorado Broncos last years. I was very happy when you only throwed for 146 yards, one touchdowns and one time to my Kansas Chiefs. No thank yous for leaving the Colorado Broncos this year even though they found another quartersback for the Kansas Chiefs to beat this year. That happened two times.

Thank yous for giving me hope. At the beginnings of the game, you were already winning 16.5-0. That’s a lot of points to get added to your scores. No thank yous for losing by more than 16.5 points and accidentally losings me $18,900 dollars this weekend. 

Thank yous for being tall. Did you know you’re the tallest quartersback in the entire Nationals Footballs League? I did and I thinks it is very cool to look at how long your armses are. No thank yous to your bestest friend Will Fuller. He is a lots shorter than yous and has short armses that make it hard to catch.

Thank yous for being down only 8 points in the last quarters. No thank yous for throwing it to the Massachusetts Patriots two times after thats.

Thank yous for considering paying me back from yous $72,000,000 contract that you signed this summers. That’s a lots of monies. No thank yous for ruinings 4th of July for my nephews and nieces. I was going to buys them lots of presents if you wons the game. 

Thank yous for trying your best. No thanks yous for it not being enoughs. 

With thanks,

‘Uncle Ron’ 

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